Do you ever notice how patient you are, or if you have been kind to people? Are you jealous of things people have… or are you boastful? Have you been arrogant, or insisted on your own way? Do you resent certain people for things they have done, and do you hold onto things for too long? Or are you able to bear all things, believe all things, hope in all things, and endure all things?
I need more love in my life, that is for sure. I hold onto things, I get offended, I don’t forgive as much as I should, and I’m impatient. My love is tainted and conditional. But there is such a thing as perfect love, and I have dwelled in it so many times that I can’t count how many times I have received it. It’s one of a kind. His name is Jesus.
There’s a story in the Bible about a guy named Hosea. He is told to go find a wife. Lucky for him, right? Not right. In fact, God tells him to go find a whore for a wife. A whore who cheats, lies, and feels unloveable… talk about a challenge. He follows through and finds Gomer. After she runs away what seems like countless times, the Lord tells him to go find her. Again. “And The Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins.’ So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a lethech of barley. And I said to her, ‘You must dwell as mine for many days. You shall not play the whore, or belong to another man; so I will also be to you.” Hosea 3:1-3
It’s my favorite love story at the moment. Pure and simple… he was committed to her, even though he had so many reasons to give up on her. I am in awe of his character, but even more in awe of Gomer’s character. What made her so resistant? Why didn’t she just rest in his love? What was her problem, was she mentally ill? Seems like it! She chose her “cakes of rasin” over her husband who loved her almost unconditionally.
We choose things and objects and people over the Lord every day. What is wrong with us? Are we mentally ill, or are we just a little slow? How have we not figured out that He loves us unconditionally? We should want to please Him and rest His undoubtedly perfect love! Why do we choose our cakes of raisin instead of our Father?
What is your cake of raisin? Why do you choose that over the joy of the Lord? It could be as simple as what you do with your time, a hardened heart, or an attitude of unthankfulness. Whatever it is, is it worth holding onto when you could be living in the light of His perfect presence? Choose the bread of life over raisin bread. He is waiting for you to pick Him.
Hi Beki, did I miss a "homecoming" get together for you? I have been following your blog. It sounds like you were truly touched by the people there. I am sure they were with you as well! Keep in touch.
I didn’t have a formal get together, but I would love to tell you all about the trip! Let me know if you would like to do that. My email is email@example.com
The question is, where is my home? For now, my home is here on the Central Coast of California. Beautiful weather, beautiful people, and the beautiful nature is is surrounded by. But what about my home in Cambodia? There is no way I could forget all that I just experienced just one week ago. It would be too hard to forget that, I would have to detach half of my heart. God did great things in me while I was away teaching, but I am not done learning.
My point is that I am where God wants me to be. God can use me in literally any situation, so I my as well make the most of every opportunity I have to share Christ’s love. Whether it be the person in front of me at Starbucks, the grumpy regular that walks into your work everyday at the same time, or the man you cat-sit for, there is always an opportunity to love. (I seriously do cat-sit…). Above all, love. And love genuinely. Easier said than done, I know.
Since I’ve been back, I have gotten into the groove of things, it’s such a blessing that it is summer and things are moving quite slowly. In only a few days I will start my 5 classes at Cuesta College and then life will be hectic once again. I am so excited to see what God has planned for me at this time in my life. I am growing in so many different areas of my life that I don’t even know how to process anything. I’m not even sure what to write down! Okay well there is one thing..
For the past four years of my life I have been praying for boldness. Maybe that us an understatement, it’s more like I have been begging for boldness! All I have to say is that God answers prayers, and on HIS timing. I can’t believe how bold I have been this past month. God has really just given me a love for people, I am so blessed to feel this way! Going to Cambodia has taught me to realize that everyone is going through a hard time, or has gone through a hard time. Everyone struggles and is in need of a Saviour and a friend. It is unhuman to not.
It’s hard to not be in Cambodia right now, but I know I am at home for a purpose. I’m not quite sure what that purpose is, but I know that it is what the Lord wants, so I will continue to seek Him in every decision I make! I can’t wait to see what He does with me. Thank you Lord!
*Please continue to pray for Cambodia. Pray for their corrupt government, and for their to be an upbringing of young people to take over government positions and lead the country in a positive way. Pray for the Lord to work powerfully in the Kmai people, and that He dwells richly in their land. Pray for Srey Hoy and all the other children at Haley’s House, and for the people who dedicate their time there day in and day out. Pray for them to be filled continually so that they can pour out as well. Thank you Lord for the missionaries you send throughout the world. Let your word be heard and taken to heart!
Goodbyes are so not fun. Today was one of the worst days, and one of the best. It was the worst because I did not expect to leave heartbroken. I anticipated leaving and saying goodbye to a few good friends, and leave feeling accomplished. I can’t believe how wrong I was. Today when I said goodbye to my new friends Srey Hoy and her sister, I felt too much. I don’t let myself love deeply, and by God’s grace I could not help falling so deeply in love with these children from Haley’s House Orphanage. At the beginning of the trip when we went to Haley’s House, I was prepared to be loved. I was ready to be treated like a superstar or a queen. I was ready to love on children and touch their lives, and then come back home and tell everyone how much love these children have, and how much more I need to give. But I am leaving with something much deeper. One thing I was not prepared for was to leave with a broken heart, and a broken heart that will not forget these precious moments from God. I was not prepared to fall in love.
Her name is Srey Hoy, and she is 11 years old. She is the girl that stole my heart, broke it, and will keep it forever. Hoy has an amazing story. Her and her sister were raised with their mother, who sold them into trafficking only a few months ago. Their aunt redeemed them and then found Haley’s House orphanage and placed them there. The girls have been there now a month, and are already feeling Christ’s love. They know that Jesus is their Father, and loves them unconditionally. And even though I know The Lord has a good and perfect plan for them, it’s hard to not want to steal them! Today as I was preparing to say goodbye to them, Srey Hoy looked into my eyes and said to me, “keep me?”. A few minutes later as we were really saying goodbye, she says to me “I can come home with you, mam.” My heart still hurts. Of course I want to take her home, and of course I want to keep her. In a letter I wrote to her I told her how beautiful she is, and that she is a daughter of the greatest King, which means she is a princess, and she is also my sister. And I also wrote in her language that I love her, and at the end of our time I made sure that she knew that was true. With tears welling up in our eyes, it was hard to actually let go of her hand. One last moment I will remember is her looking at me straight in the eyes, grabbing my face, and telling me to smile. You know it’s bad when you have to have an 11 year old console you. Needless to say, I sure did leave a huge piece of my heart in Cambodia. I miss her already.
So, now I’ll get to the part when I tell you why it was the best day. It was the very best day because I know how God wants us to love. He wants us to love to deeply that it hurts… He wants us to love like He does. How can we pray “Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours,” and be surprised when we are filled with emotion and passion for His precious creations. Imagine what the world would look like if we truly loved. The truth is that everyone has a story, and no one can resist genuine unconditional love because we all need it. God showed me his passion for His people these past six weeks, and what it means to be in community. Follow His voice everyday, and you will be in His will. Today was the best day because God answered my prayer. The goal of this trip was to experience whatever God wanted me to experience, to give love, and show me more of who He created me to be. I know I was made to love. We all are. If God is love, and we were made in His likeness, than that is what we should strive to be. Love until it hurts, and then love more.
I don’t want to leave. Like I said in an earlier post, there is just so much to be done here, and so many people that I love. How can I leave when my job is not finished? I don’t want to lose this passion when I get back home. Lord, please be the fire to my flame… I don’t want to forget.
"Let love be genuine" Romans 9:1
Here is another beautiful quote :
“To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.” – Arundhati Roy
That’s what I’m doing. Breathing deeply and soaking everything up like a sponge. I only have 5 more days here, the time has flown right by me. Now is the time to catch up on all my emailing and bog posting, so here it goes..
Let me just begin by saying I have fallen head over heels in love. For the past couple weeks we have been hanging out a an orphanage called Haley’s House, it has been one of my favorite ministries that I’ve been involved in here. The children are amazing. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am taking a few home with me! I am so sad to say goodbye to them all. I have made dear friends, and a few of my “cling ons” names are Srey Hoy (Srey means girl in Kmher), Srey Mom, and Mary. They are gorgeous, and have a love for the Lord that I want. They love and serve Him in everything they do, it is so inspiring. I can’t help but want to take them home with me, and it does NOT help when they call you “Mam” but really it sounds like mom… and then they go and add a “y” so it really sounds like mommy! It really breaks my heart. Even though there is a language barrier, I am just melted when they look into my eyes and just give me love. I am amazed at how much they are able to love, it makes me want to pour into their lives that much more. Tomorrow is possibly the last day I will see them, so I am making all of the girls (about 12) crocheted headbands and bracelets. I want them to realize how beautiful they are, and not just on the outside, but there is even more beauty on the inside! The Lord knows their needs. If you are interested and want to find out more on how you can support these children, or just want to pray for them by name you can go to http://www.haleyshouse.org/newsite/index.php. The Lord has given me a heart for the orphaned, and maybe someday I will have the blessing and opportunity of bringing a precious child from Haley’s House into my family. I know that is a big prayer, but I know a God who is in that kind of business. Thats not to say that the children there are not being taken care of, because it is actually the complete opposite.. they are in the chosen hands of God. The people who volunteer and are staff are amazing, and I am so happy and thankful that God is leading them to do His will! What a blessing.
So, all these goodbyes are hard. It is so wonderful that I have gotten so close to all of my new friends here, but I am so sad that I have to leave them.. plus I am horrible with goodbyes. Tomorrow is the last day of school at Logos International, and I have to say goodbye to my wonderful friends Joe, Linda, Sophorn, Sato, and all of the other wonderful people who work there. The principle (Dan Hine) has been so hospitable, as well as the “office ladies” who help us out with virtually every one of our day to day needs, including trying to explain to our cook what “raw chicken” is! Haha, that was fun. I am also sad to say goodbye to all of my students, who have done so well in my dance classes. Tomorrow they are preforming the dance I taught them, and the song is called “Identity” by Lecrae. It is great seeing how comfortable they have become in their own skin throughout these few weeks… God is good.
All this being said, I am excited to go back home. I have a new experience under my belt, as well as a new view on life. I don’t need half of the things I claim as necessities, and I sure don’t need more than 4 different outfits(though it is really quite hard to mix and match after about 3 weeks of the same clothes…). My goal, as I said in a previous post, is to think missionally about everything I do. That is God’s purpose for my life. I would love to come back to Cambodia, but if that is one of the only things I learned here, I know that God has done a great work in me because I feel like that is key.
I’m sitting near a place called Russian Market, in an outdoor coffee shop called “Koffee Corner”. I love Cambodia, and Russian Market is my favorite market so far! There are so many tiny little trinket, clothing, knives, jewelry, handmade crafts, and all kinds of other sorts of things to buy for very very cheep prices. It’s so fun to bargain with the shop keepers, I’m almost professional at it… watch out San Luis Obispo swap meet! Today I bought a really awesome side bag for 2 dollars, a shirt for 1.50, and a present for a friend for a dollar…anyways it’s great for getting amazing deals. I really enjoy this part of Cambodia, maybe it is just the ambience of this cute coffee shop but I think I actually do like it.
This morning my team and I went to church at Shalom Logos(at the school where we teach), and the pastor talked about submitting to others, and how important this is in every single relationship you will ever have, including the relationship you have with Christ. I’m learning something new everyday, and re learning very important life lessons as well.
God is at work in peoples hearts here, as He is everywhere. Not only in the Kmai people, but in the hearts of all of the members of our team. Our teammate Katelyn was invited into our Tuk Tuk drivers home the other day to meet with his family. Him, his wife, and his soon to be 3 children live in a house the size of our living room here. They have no bed, no kitchen, and only a mat to sleep on which is shared between all of them. Luckily, they were kind enough to offer her a tarantula… a delicacy here! Getting to know this family has been an amazing experience, and genuinely an honor. They bless us so much. Our team is in awe of how much faith they have in the Lord. It makes you think.
I have two more weeks in Cambodia, but I am already dreading going back home. There is so much that I love here, and so many people I have met and gotten close to. Including my friend Sam, who got baptized today at school. She has a heart for the Lord, and my prayer for her is that she continues to stay motivated and help with the movement of young people here in the country, which she is already a part of. I know the Lords plan for her life is outstanding, and I can’t believe I get to be a part of encouraging her in that. It is going to be so hard to even think about leaving here. That being said, don’t think for a second that I don’t miss my friends and family unexplainably! I miss you all.
Lastly, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is easy love people when you are in the mission mindset. I wonder what my life would look like if I actually viewed my whole life to be a mission. My mission is to point others to Christ, which means I don’t need to leave to do that. The Lord is doing great things inside of me, things that I can’t even explain.
Lord, help me to love genuinely. All the time.
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good."
Yesterday we went to Sihanouk Beach. We got there by bus, about 5 1/2 hours of driving and we were finally there. Right when we got out of our bus we were quite literally bombarded with Tuk Tuk drivers…and to think that we were worried about finding a ride to our hotel! We stayed at a quaint little hotel called “Orchidee”, which had a nice pool and was very close to the ocean. It was so nice just to be near the ocean, I can’t believe I have lived without it for a few weeks already! For a few days I had been feeling a little upset because I felt like I could be doing so much more for the Lord right now in my time here, and after praying about it God totally answered my prayer. During our time enjoying the beach we were frequently asked either to get our leg hair threaded, to buy sunglasses, or a bracelet, fruit, and almost anything you can think of. The people selling these items were mainly children under the age of 20, and then there were also older ladies who did manicures. We decided to take up this opportunity to share our love, and to some precious girls we even got a chance to share Jesus with them. My teammate Janelle and I learned that God is faithful when we ask for wisdom and words, it was so amazing getting to know those beautiful girls! A couple of their names were Hong and SreyTee. God is chasing those girls more than they know, its crazy because they didn’t even know who He was… at least they do now. Anyways, my team thouroughly enjoyed our little vacation. It was also a great experience when we felt like we were going back “home” to Phnom Penh. Thank you Lord for your gift!
I start my dance classes at about 8am tomorrow morning, and couldn’t be more excited or nervous. Nervous because I’m not sure how the day will all pan out, and excited because I love my students, and I am sure we will have a great summer together. Some of the Teachers Assistants are interested in taking my class too, which I am excited about. Ahhh what a summer this will be! It is such a short time, I want to experience all that I can.
This morning we went to church at Shalom in the Logos International school building, and then rode bikes to a very cute coffee shop called “The Shop Too” in Toul Kork, Cambodia. It’s only about a 15-20 minute bike ride here from our house, a bit farther than The Terrace. I had a lychee/mint blended drink, it was yummy. Who new that in the heart of Cambodia there could be so much cuteness? I like it.
Please pray for the Lord to continue to use our team for His plan and purpose, and to continue to praise Him together in unity. Thank you to my wonderful friends and family for supporting me on this adventure. I am praying for you as well!
"So if there is any encouragement in christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:1-4
Hello! I’ve been in Cambodia now for I think five days, and I am loving it. The culture is so different here. People are so welcoming, hospitable, kind, honest, and very very generous. Everything is new and exciting, I’m still just breathing it all in. My team and I moved into our more permanent home a couple days ago which is in Phnom Penh Temai (new Phnom Penh), and it is a beautiful house. We are so blessed and so thankful. We live right down the street from a small market area, and a only a few blocks away from the school we teach at. It is only about a twenty minute walk to the school, and since we got bikes today it will only take about ten minutes to get there, which is very convenient. We are so thankful to have the luxury of a bike!
One funny thing about Cambodia is how the traffic works. First off all, lights are just a suggestion really. And so are lane lines. To work in the traffic you really have to just make your way into it whether it is safe or not…but I think its really fun. Today my teammates Maddy, Jen, Janelle, and Katelyn went on a bike ride to a place called Mike’s Burgers. I wish I could tell you how the burgers were but unfortunately we never made it. After riding around for probably an hour in the hot/humid/dusty air we decided to take a rest and get a coke from a nearby gas station. Then I looked to my right and spotted a nice looking restaurant and since we were dying of hunger and getting a little frustrated, without questioning we went inside and took a seat. It was an awkward experience because no one spoke any english, in fact we didn’t even know if they spoke Khmer. It was a great experience though, and I realized that after getting lost I know the city better than I did when I thought I knew where I was going.
It’s awesome to see how God is working here. Not that it is that much different than how He usually works, but I feel like I can just see it so much easier here. It’s different because so many people are used to living minimally, and are actually comfortable with that. It’s insane . It makes me want to live simply, way more than what I am used to. It’s even weird for me to wear the same thing twice in one week, but for the Khmer they may only have one nice outfit. It’s the little things that get to me I guess. I am learning so much in such a short time.
I love it here in Cambodia. Although I miss my friends and family, I can’t help but be completely preoccupied thinking about things that are going on here. The movement of young Khmer christians is so awesome! I just have so much hope for them. It goes along with what I feel is happening in the States: there is going to be a revolution of young people! I am sure of it.
Well, I could keep writing about random things but I don’t want to confuse you anymore. My mind is in so many places right now! I thank God for the unity of my team, and for encouragement and growth in my relationship with Him. Thank you also to those of you praying for me. Please continue to pray for people we come in contact with. With Jesus all things are possible!
Yes, that is right. I leave in 5 days, I will be in Cambodia in less than a week. I got to the TeachOverseas training site in Pasadena on Sunday and have been busy ever since. I feel like I am already going to through culture shock with all the information we have learned. My team and I get along so well, it is unreal! It’s funny because all of our administrators keep telling us the negative things to going over seas, such as confrontation and dealing with problems within our own team, and that we can’t have too high of expectations as to our experience in Cambodia. Although it seems silly, I guess there is some wisdom in thinking like this. I am just hoping and praying that we defy all odds and have no fights or arguments. Too bad that will never happen.
Training is intense! We wake up, eat breakfast, have sessions on teaching english as a second language, eat lunch, get to know our team and find out how to not kill each other while living in the same house, eat dinner, practice teaching a lesson, have more team discussion/Bible time, and then hang out or go to sleep. This all happens between 7am and 9pm… it’s a lot of information to take in!
Today I had my second practice lesson. I taught dance to a few of my teammates(who pretended to be 6 year olds…very entertaining), and it went pretty well! I can see now that lesson planning for this class is going to be time consuming, but it is definitely do-able. I am so excited to teach my little kiddies how to dance and have fun! Gosh, I can’t believe I get to do this.
I’m so thankful that God is revealing Himself in my group. I pray that we all continue to walk in love and harmony, that will make it so much easier to live with eachother! You are welcome to pray for that as well. Thanks for reading my update, more to come. :)
Oh my goodnes, my God is so good. I have so many loyal friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers that have support me with prayer, encouragement, money, and love! I can’t believe how loved I am, and how many people want me to succeed. This is trip is such a blessing already, and I am not even there.
As you may or may not have heard, I have raised a total of $4,884 which means that I am $459 over what I needed to raise. Can I just say, GOD IS GOOD! I have been saying this so many times within the past few weeks. I sincerely don’t know why I doubt the maker of the universe. God is going to do so much with the money that people have blessed me with, I am so excited to see how He works in me and in others while I’m in Cambodia.
I officially have three more days until I go to Pasadena for a week of training, and twelve days until I am IN Cambodia. It’s so strange how time flies…I need to get into packing mode asap. I feel as if I have a million billion things to do, and only three days to do them. I guess because thats the truth.
I’ve been praying lately for the children and people in general that I may or may not come in contact with while I’m there. I can’t believe that God is sending me there to spread His love and His life. I know for sure that He will give me the words to say and when to say them, but it is still a big responsibility. If you think about it, I would be thankful if you prayed that I would be bold and wise with the words that I say, and what I do. I want the Lord to use me in a big way, so I need all the prayer I can get. Pray for the hearts there, and that they are able to soak up the word when it is poured out. Pray for the teachers who are over there full time, that they keep soaking up the Word and letting it move them to have compassion. Same for me.
All in all, I pray that I am focused on the Lord and what He is doing so that I can be a part of it. I pray that He uses me, no matter what that looks like. I pray that I am in the Word daily, and thinking about His promises always so that I can share them with others. This is a big job, and I need your help! Thank you for partnering with me in whatever way you are able. I truly appreciate you and love each and every one of you.
This is a good one :)
"May He remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God."
Cambodia in one month! It is so unreal, but so amazing. I can’t think of a better way to spend my summer. Which by the way, summer started for me today. As it is starting to get down to the wire, I am completely trusting in God that He is going to provide me with all that I need. I know that I am going to get all the money I need in time for my trip. Who knows, maybe I will get even more than I need! God is a God of miracles. As of now, I still need about $1,500 to go towards my trip. But look at what The Lord has already done! I am in awe of how He just makes everything come together, it’s awesome. But that is not to say that there is still a great need for support in the money department. I have a feeling that God is going to do something big for me. This verse has been very comforting lately…
"Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never-I promise- regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our father lives towards us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our father is kind; you be kind. Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults- unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back- given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." Luke 6:35-38
In all of this chaos, prayer is a must. Some ways you can pray for me are:
1. That I am constantly looking for God’s direction, and not what I want to happen.
2. That I don’t doubt God’s power.
3. For the children and people that I will be in contact with for my time in Cambodia.
4. Harmony in my group.
6. That the Word is preached and souls are saved!
I honestly can not wait to see how God is going to provide for me. I know it is going to be big, and I know that I have to really get cracking and do my part. You get to be a part of it too! Through your partnership of prayer, money, or both, I know you will be blessed as much as I will be. Get ready for a miracle, I can feel one coming!
I hope that this post was informing for all of you. God is doing great things! Thank you for your partnership.
Hello my friends! I’m going to let you in on a few things that God is doing right now in regards to my upcoming(very very soon!) trip to Cambodia. Thanks to you beautiful people, I have reached a half way mark in my journey to raise money, which means I only need to raise about $2,000! I have come up with some different ideas for fundraising, and I am hoping that God will put the right people in my life to connect with and help me put my plan into action. I want to have a fundraiser concert at my church in our youth building, which is a perfect venue! I have some really cool ideas for getting people to come, such as a really awesome photobooth, some yummy treats baked by my best friends, and well… they are good ideas, you’ll just have to trust me :). All I know is that The Lord is going to provide for me. I don’t know how or when, but I know why. Because He put this desire into my heart, and He will make it happen if I am actively doing His will! God is good…literally ALL THE TIME.
And, if you were wondering.. Of course I am nervous! Yes, I have so many doubts. Fears galore. I ask questions like “How the heck am I supposed to raise $2,000 by june?!”, but then I remember that you can’t put God in a box. I realize that God can do the impossible when it seems impossible! I have learned that you know for sure that God has called you to do something if it seems crazy and out of reach. It’s comforting.
So, I know this update is all over the place, but that is because my mind is all over the place! So much to do, and so little time. Thank you Lord for not being tied down to a clock…that would be super inconvenient! And thank you friends for going on this journey with me! I need prayer. A LOT of it. Prayer for staying on task with working towards rasing money, being prayerful in my walk with the Lord, and remembering that I can’t do this by myself. I have a God-size hole that only He can fill.
Okay I promise I am almost done ranting. I just want you to be excited about what God is doing! Also, I am having a fundraiser at San Luis’s California Pizza Kitchen on May 10th, so if you for some reason have to eat that day…you should go there with a flyer that you can get from me (or I will have some at New Life church, the Steaming Bean in Shell Beach, and other various places..). :)
Psalm 37:3-6 ”Get insurance with God and do a good deed, settle down and stick to your last. Keep company with God, get in on the best. Open up before God, keep nothing back; He’ll do whatever needs to be done: He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon.”
Welcome to my blog! This is where I will be posting all of my “prepping for Cambodia” updates. This is also where you will most likely be able to see what I’m up to during my time there.
I’m just getting the ball rolling with starting to raise support for Cambodia, as many of you know because you received letters in the mail recently:] There’s not much to catch you all up on so far, except that I am really trying to trust in the Lord right now, with everything from finances, and hearing His voice. Thank you for all of your prayers and interest in the beginning of a wonderful adventure!
If you want, you can specifically pray that I stay on track with my support raising, and that I take initiative and ask with boldness! Also pray that the Lord would raise up people who want to support me in prayer and financially. Thank you!
I think most of all, I am learning. It’s a tough thing to do… well for me anyway. Learning to rely on the Lord, and only on Him. It’s hard because sometimes I think I have it all together, but then I am reminded that my life will be gone away with the breeze. Everything is a vanity, and a striving after wind. I don’t want to be striving after emptiness. I want to strive to be more like my Lord. I’m learning that I do have to strive to be more like Him…it wont just happen. It’s not necessarily going to be easy. I don’t want to live my life comfortably, without any hardships or growing opportunities. Sure, it’s easy to say that now, and I’m sure that when those times come I will be kicking myself, but honestly, a comfortable life is not a happy life! Go big or go home! I just read 1 Samuel 14, and it made me put my life in check. I want to be able to get uncomfortable for Jesus. Am I doing that? Can people tell that I’m doing it? Honestly, right now I don’t know if that’s true…and I’m leaning towards it not being true which is a let down. Lord, take my life, I’m ready to get uncomfortable! …Yikes
Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet
Your love is a mystery, how you gently lift me
When I am surrounded, your love carries me
Hallelujah, your love makes me sing
Hallelujah, your love makes me sing
Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing deep inside of me
Every time I see you, all your goodness shines through
And I can feel this God song, rising up in me
Yes, you make me sing
Lord, you make me sing, sing, sing
How you make me sing!
I am the Lords beloved. I am strong with Him. I am dependent on Christ. I am loved. I am inspired. I am unique. I am a friend. I am unworthy. I am full of hope. I am a believer. I am an encourager. I am His.
I realized that I can’t do anything that will disappoint the Lord. He loves me for who I am, what I do, and what I don’t do. He is unchanging, gracious, patient, forgiving, merciful, and loving. What is better than being in His gentle, indescribably powerful hands? He is my one and only, forever.
"Trust in the Lord, and do good. Dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act. He will bring forth your rightousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37: 3-7
It’s funny how God’s timing really is the best timing. huh. Crazy how that works out, right? I think so. I try so hard to make things happen according to my schedule… no wonder things don’t usually work out how I expect them to. God really does know what is best for me, I just have to realize the reality of how much he loves me and wants me to succeed.